Spam: The Worst Website Promotion Technique Ever

1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic by 2 people | Log in to rate

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Spam Sucks!

Oh how I detest spam... it's horrible stuff. It clogs up your inbox, it fills up your blog comments, and it somehow sneaks onto forums to ruin interesting discussions!

It sucks when you think you've got a new message or comment, only to discover it's a bot spouting unintelligible nonsense!

Join the fight against spam today!

Movie Pitch - Attack of the Spam-bots! 

Picture this...

It's a dark night, about three in the morning, when all good citizens should be snug in bed.

But Jimmy is on his computer... He is simultaneously posting on a forum, working on a school assignment, creating a new Squidoo lens and responding to comments on his blog, when suddenly...

He tries to submit his blog comment but he can't! It just won't go through! And then he sees it... A flood of spam comments are pouring in! He tries to delete them but he can't!! Why are they getting through the filters? Can't someone stop them??

Then the site crashes completely...

Jimmy is freaking out by this stage, so he tries the forum. But the forum has crashed too! Nothing is working!

Oh, the horror! THE HORROR!

An immense Spam-Bot Doomsday Machine has been wreaking havoc at the command of a Nigerian prince, who has finally reached breaking point because no-one will help him transfer his millions, or even buy any cheap viagra!

So... What do you think?

How should the movie end? 

Will the internet live happily ever after?

poutine wrote...

I say Kill that prince!

Poutine

ReplyPosted August 29, 2008

poutine wrote...

I say Kill that prince!

Poutine

ReplyPosted August 29, 2008

Lensmaster

Miss Nigeria wrote

The prince gets really rich and marries me! I shall rule forever more as spam queen!!! lol

Reply Posted July 26, 2008

This is the only kind of spam I want to see! 

Monty Python - SPAM

The Spam Sketch with english subtitles

Runtime: 3:55
155029 views
10 Comments:

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What do you think of spam? 

Do you like it?

Loading Fetching blurbs now... please stand by

NO! It all needs to stop, right now before I throw my computer out of the window!

poutine says:

Surely, there must be a way to stop this nonsense. After all men can go on the moon, why can't they fix this problem?

PetMemorialWorld says:

It is incredibly frustrating - and the new measures to stamp it out are well due.

Kanga says:

Argh!

Yeah, sometimes... some of it provides useful information/is funny/makes my blog look a bit more loved...

designtech44 says:

I think it's an intrusion of a persons time and space and people should have the option of allowing it or not, and giving permission to be solicited.
like anyone can see my web site www.patternstudioa.com to learn more about sewing and pattern making.... and I would welcome students asking me questions about being fashion designers.

dean

Miss Nigeria says:

spam makes the world go round

 
 
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The Top Five Reasons Spam is the Worst Website Promotion Technique 

As if you really need convincing...

  1. Because it's spam!
  2. Because it's spam!
  3. Because it's spam!
  4. Because it's spam!
  5. Because it's spam!

    (Are you sick of seeing the exact same point repeated yet? Well that's how the recipients of spam feel all the time! That's not going to make them check out a website, is it?)

If you were seriously considering spamming people, perhaps you should check out this lens instead... 

I'm serious. There are some great tips here, check them out!

How about some alternative strategies? 

Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable

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Some lenses right here on Squidoo are trying to protect the innocent from drowning in spam! 

And some lenses are trying to make the best of a bad situation... 

Gotta love the 'glass half full' attitude here!

Anti-spam! 

Vote for your favourite anti-spam products here!

Ending Spam: Bayesian Content Filtering and the Art of Statistical Language Classification by Jonathan Zdziarski

Ending Spam: Bayesian Content Filtering and the Art of Statistical Language Classification by Jonathan Zdziarski

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Spam Wars: Our Last Best Chance to Defeat Spammers, Scammers & Hackers by Danny Goodman

Spam Wars: Our Last Best Chance to Defeat Spammers, Scammers & Hackers by Danny Goodman

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SpamAssassin: A Practical Guide to Integration and Configuration by Alistair McDonald

SpamAssassin: A Practical Guide to Integration and Configuration by Alistair McDonald

In depth guide to implementing antispam solutions more...0 points

SpamAssassin by Alan Schwartz

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Guestbook 

All comments welcome!

Oh, unless they're spam of course...

aj2008 wrote...

It had to be said! Well done from a fellow SPAM hater!!!!

ReplyPosted August 15, 2008